Building Grit, Confidence, & Learning from Failure
Lessons from Cheer Nationals
This past week, I had the privilege of traveling to Florida with my nine-year-old daughter, Kennedy, for her cheer team’s national competition. As you can imagine, it was a whirlwind of excitement, nerves, and pure determination. While the team didn't place in the top 5 as we'd hoped, their journey to get to Nationals taught us some invaluable lessons about grit, failure, and confidence—lessons I want to share, not just with my daughter, but with all of you, especially parents of tween girls. These are the kinds of things we'll be diving into at the Bloom Retreat, and they are so important during these formative years.
Team huddle at the end of their last practice before heading to Nationals.
Grit and Determination
When Kennedy’s cheer team began this season, they were underdogs. Most of the girls had cheered before, but they hadn’t worked together as a team, and their new head coach had little cheer experience. To top it off, they were a group of primarily 9 and 10 year old’s competing in an under 12 division- they were the youngest team in their league.
It was tough at first, and they didn’t place as high as they wanted in their early competitions. They even dominated a major hurdle when their music dropped halfway through their routine. But they kept showing up, they kept putting in the work, and they kept improving. They made it to Nationals by placing third at both local and state competitions, and they showed up at regionals ready to compete, once again placing third out of the top ten teams in New England! They could have stopped there, but they didn’t. They kept working. They kept improving.
This is something I hope my daughter takes with her for the rest of her life. Success isn’t about hitting the mark every time—it’s about staying in the game, putting in the work, and improving each time. These are the moments we need to celebrate as parents because these experiences build the foundation for their future success.
From a group of underdogs….
…to Top Ten in the Nation!
Handling Failure and Loss
Of course, when we got to Nationals, they didn’t place in the top five. They placed seventh out of ten teams, which meant they didn’t make it to the final day. And as hard as it was, it was a huge teaching moment. Kennedy and I talked a lot about it afterward, and we discussed how it wasn’t about being upset by the loss—it was about reflecting on what they accomplished to get there. And reminding them they are still a top ten team in the Nation!
They got to Nationals because of their grit, teamwork, and commitment to getting better. And even though they didn’t make it to the final day, they learned so much. It’s okay to lose sometimes—it’s part of the process. The key is to look at it as an opportunity to grow and improve. What can we do better? What can we learn from this experience?
Building Confidence in Our Kids
One of the hardest parts of watching my daughter go through this experience was hearing her say, “I don’t have any skills,” when we were talking about what she could do during the off-season to improve. In cheer, the standout positions often go to the Flyers and Tumblers—those are the kids who have the special skills. But that doesn’t mean every kid on the team isn’t important. It takes a whole team of girls, with all different strengths, to make it work. Some are the bases, some are the leaders, and all of them contribute to the success of the team.
This is a reminder that we need to teach our kids that just because something needs improvement doesn’t make them “less than” or “unworthy.” Building confidence at this age is crucial. It’s not just about winning or being the best in one specific skill, it’s about being proud of who you are and what you bring to the table.
Pep talk before they compete at Nationals.
A Formidable Age and Building Tools for the Future
Tween girls are in such a unique, formative stage in their lives. They are transitioning from childhood to the teen years, bridging the gap to adulthood. The experiences they have now—good and bad—shape who they’ll become. It’s also the time when they start facing more complicated friendships, more competitive sports, and more challenging academics.
As parents, we can’t protect our kids from everything. But we can equip them with the tools they need to handle life’s challenges—confidence, resilience, grit, and the ability to reflect and learn from failure. These years are so important, and while we may not have a “handbook” for it, we do have moments to guide and support them.
That’s why events like the Bloom Retreat are so important. These retreats give both parents and kids a chance to connect, learn, and grow together. They’re not just about time together; they’re about building the emotional resilience, confidence, and skills that will carry them through their teen years and beyond.
As much as we might wish for everything to go perfectly, it’s the struggles, the losses, and the challenges that teach our kids the most valuable lessons. These experiences shape them into resilient, confident young women ready to face the world—and I am so grateful that I get to be part of Kennedy’s journey, guiding her through these pivotal moments.
If you're a parent of a tween or teen, I encourage you to lean into these moments, celebrate the victories, big or small, and use every experience to help your child build the tools they need for future success. And remember, you're not doing this alone—events like the Bloom Retreat are here to help both you and your child navigate these years with confidence.
